Unspoken
by Aminako
Summary: [1x2 one-shot] The word 'love' shouldn't even be mentioned in the midst of a war. Duo begs to differ. But such pleasures is at the cost of some pain. RR


Author: Aminako

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, that happy right belongs to Bandai, Sotsu, and Sunrise. But if I did then of course … 

Warnings: yaoi, language, mild Heero bastardization (itz really not that bad)

Notes: I wrote this when I wuz a lil stressed, so if it doesn't make any sense don't hold it against me.

-blah- emphasis

//blah// thoughts

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Unspoken

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The distant grumbling of the thunderstorm could still be heard, but just barely. The clouds had cleared long ago, making way for the full moon and its luminous glow that somehow brought a bit more life to a city otherwise dark and cold. The city was always like that, even during the day, its inhabitants were no different. 

A "ghost town" is what the sensible ones called it, and indeed it was a ghost town where Duo Maxwell had found himself. 

He was a refreshing change to all the darkness. The boy's spirit was full of energy, wild and untamable. It was reflected in his actions and speech, but most clearly shown in the depth of his unique violet eyes. He thought he could maintain his fire, or at least kindle it back to life everytime he felt it waver. It would always be there, sitting in his soul, warming him when it got too cold.

Yes . . . he felt he alone would be able to survive the soulless city and not be consumed by the deadly mixture of rage, greed, and lust. Of course he had good reason to believe so, so did everyone at first. But there was a certain quality about war that made everyone cold in the end, no matter how bright they were.

That's when, by fate, the blue-eyed stranger named Heero Yuy came into his life.

Perhaps he had been too much for Duo to handle. Upon their first meeting Heero had drank in the sight of the beautiful braided boy, carefully taking in every inch of him to imprint the angelic vision onto his memory. The lust was there; Duo had seen it in his cobalt eyes. But he had been too afraid to accept it, and had simply tossed the observation out the window. 

How he regretted it now, sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up to his chest and clutching the bed linen loosely wrapped around him, barely hiding his nakedness. His slender body quivered, shocked by the emptiness that filled his soul. His fire had long ago burnt out, destroyed by the persistent cobalt lust that kept coming back to drink in his spirit with an urgency that would put hunger to shame. He had not become the object of someone's affection, like he'd always hoped, but rather their obsession.

Duo's grip on the sheets tightened. He had been left alone right after the tousle-haired boy's needs were satisfied. Though it was always like that, he'd always leave without a word like Duo was some cheap toy that he no longer wished to play with. But he'd always come back. He always wanted more because the chestnut-haired boy had the same effect as the most stimulating of drugs. Saying 'no' was difficult, though most times the thought never even crossed his mind.

Of course this was not to imply that Duo wasn't willingly submissive. There was a certain sense of security that came with being dominated; a sense of belonging that meant you would be safe and protected. Duo didn't want to be hurt anymore; he wanted to feel safe just like anyone else. Being someone who was too damaged to provide safety for himself, he willingly ran into the arms of another. Being with Heero meant being safe. The boy was strong and Duo knew that at first sight. 

Turning around, Duo looked out the window. The moon was so close … almost as if it wanted to climb through the arched windows and embrace him. He closed those magnificent violet orbs to the world as tears welled up in his eyes and slowly made their way down his cheeks, creating salty tracks in their wake. Duo cried, crying for himself. He loathed being so weak, at the will of another. He just wanted someone to love and someone to love him back. He learned long ago that those he loved died, and to stop the deaths he had stopped loving. With no love to give there could be none in return. Was he doomed to be alone for eternity? Such fate only awaited the great Shinigami. 

Yet somehow he still couldn't quite stomach that fact.

He touched his swollen lips, feeling it throbbing gently against his fingertips. No one ever kissed him the way Heero did. The sweet combination of possession and passion seared him to the core everytime those soft lips were pressed against his, his curious tongue following suit, gaining entrance to pursue a duel with Duo's own. The lingering effects were everlasting; it was as if cold flames danced on his lips. The fact that the Perfect Soldier never showed so much passion towards another out in the open made those experiences all the more pleasurable. It was like a secret, only shared between the two and meant for them alone.

Thinking such thoughts always kept Duo awake at night. It haunted him constantly how much he loved being with Heero, how much he loved the way Heero touched him and kissed him, the glaring look he gives him out in the open and the lusting look that replaces it as soon as the doors closed and lights went out. They all melted him from within. He knew that feeling well, and no matter how hard he tried denying it he knew he had utterly and hopelessly fallen in love.

__

// Duo Maxwell is utterly and hopelessly in love with Heero Yuy _//._ The thought made Duo smirk in a rather wicked way. It was just as he feared. Heero could be such a bastard sometimes, but he didn't want him to die. Guilt plagued him as he came to the realization. 

It didn't matter that his job description was murder, seek, and destroy. He didn't want anyone to die at his expense anymore. He didn't want to carry the weight of all his victim's conscience on his mind any longer because no one should. And it hurt most to kill the one you loved . . .

// Ai shiteru . . . Heero . . . I love you. . . . //

Those words streamed through his mind in an endless train. He absentmindedly gathered the sheets closer to him, a gut-wrenching feeling building inside.

"You fucking -bastard-, how could you do this to me?!" His words came out hoarse and choked, echoing hauntingly in the empty bedroom as a reminder to him of how alone he would soon become. Duo collapsed against the bed, fisting large amounts of white linen, holding them in a death-grip that turned his knuckles stark white. "Why does everyone have to fucking drop dead around me? What am I, a plague?" He paused. "No. It's because I -am- Death." He rested his head on the surface of the mattress; tear-streaked cheek pressed against the smooth cotton fabric that smelled faintly of sex and the sharp night air. 

// I'm being stupid, // Duo thought with a bitter smirk, // It's really unrequited love after all . . . there's nothing in our rela-- no . . . there isn't even a relationship. I'm nothing to him but a quick fuck to get rid of battle tension 'tis all. // 

As he rested there his eyelids suddenly felt heavy, Morpheus was waiting just around the corner for this boy who had lost his soul in a game called war. Duo didn't fight as he felt the caresses of dreams as they calmed his mind, lulling him to sleep. He was grateful for this state of mindlessness. 

It's what true bliss really was.

// Soon it will all be over . . . Heero . . . //

****

*

A set of cobalt eyes glinted in the darkness as they rested on the sleeping form of his beautiful lover. He loved to watch the boy in the shadows because that was when he saw Duo's true feelings, with no one around he had no reason to hide. It was the only time that his mask fell away to reveal the tormented angel that he really was.

Heero's eyes ran down the length of Duo's hair that flowed freely around him, out of the restraints of the usual plait. He could never quite get over how simply perfect the other boy was, it was like he didn't belong to this world, almost as if he would fade away one day and never come back. Perhaps it was that particular notion that drove him to be so possessive, holding onto the boy as long as he could and it didn't matter who'd gotten hurt in the end. As long as Heero had Duo in his grasp, nothing could go wrong.

Heero looked away sadly, ashamed. 

But he had been wrong; he had seen how Duo had deteriorated from the inside. Everytime he walked away he seemed to lose a part of himself in the encounter. His soul was being taken away without a fight. Duo gave himself up willingly, but Heero had been too caught up to realize just how greedy he himself was.

Beneath it all Heero _did_ love the boy. Perhaps at first sight it was just lust, but after hearing Duo's little confession he had felt something stirring in his heart. It warmed him and it felt pleasant for the most part but he was unused to such a feeling. He grew up in the midst of battles and love had no place in wars. That's what he was taught. It's hard to let go something you've known all your life.

Heero silently turned away from his beloved. He wanted to be what Duo needed, what he deserved in return, but he was a soldier and a soldier only knows how to fight.

He will fight . . . so that one day, when it was all over, he wouldn't need to be a soldier anymore.

Owari.

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So how wuz that??? Huh huh? Yeah . . . 2 1/2 pages of emotionalness really took a toll on my mind. But at least now I can stop obsessing over how I can't write any emotional-driven stories. ^__^;;

Well, if ya hate and wanna flame than flame all you want (but that doesn't mean I will care *blows rasberries*) However if ya like than please review!! Cuz I just lurrrrrrve those feedbacks.


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